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Self-sabotage is a difficult problem to overcome. It can manifest in different ways. But the end goal is always the same. To prevent you from reaching your goals. Here are four steps that you can take to overcome self-sabotage and achieve your goals:
Steps In Overcoming Self-Sabotage
1. Identify the root cause of your self-sabotage. This can be difficult, but it’s important to identify the root cause so that you can address it head-on. Once you know what’s causing you to sabotage yourself, you can begin to address it.
2. Change your beliefs about yourself. Self-sabotage is often caused by negative beliefs about oneself. These beliefs may not be true, but they can be very difficult to change. You need to start by looking at the evidence to determine if your beliefs are actually true. If they aren’t, you can make a conscious effort to change them.
3. Avoid temptation and distractions. Self-sabotage often arises from a desire for instant gratification over delayed gratification. Self-sabotage may also arise because of distractions or a lack of focus on your goals.
You need to proactively avoid these temptations and distractions so that you don’t let them stand in your way
4. Make a specific plan for success. And set small milestones along the way. Self-sabotage is often caused by not having enough clarity about what needs to be done. Or how tasks should be accomplished in order to reach your goal.
When self-sabotage arises. It’s often because your plan is foggy or unclear, and you don’t have smaller milestones to give yourself. You need to start by making a clear list of the tasks that need to be accomplished, and then make a specific plan for each task. The more detailed your plan, the better chance you’ll have at achieving your goals.
15 Self-Sabotaging Behaviour Patterns… And How To Change Them!
Self-sabotage is an obstacle that prevents those who try from achieving their potential. This type of behaviour has been well documented in the psychological literature as self-handicapping. But regardless of what term someone prefers.
The underlining issue remains the same. Self-sabotage is we do things unconsciously to create barriers that prevent us from our own success. Self-sabotage has been documented to manifest in different ways depending on the individual. But there are some common trends of self-sabotage that I want to address right now.
Self-sabotage is often something we do unconsciously, and it’s incredibly difficult to identify because of this fact. If you can begin to spot these patterns of behaviour. Then you’re well on your way to overcoming them once and for all!
Here Are 15 Behaviours That Are At Risk For Self-Sabotage
1. Putting Barriers
People who put up barriers that hurt themselves before their competitors have a chance to tend to self-sabotage. You may find this quality most prevalent with people who place high demands on themselves.
Then stop short of their goal because they either don’t think that they can reach it. Or they question their ability to reach it. Self-sabotage is often created by limiting beliefs about oneself, which manifests as sabotaging behaviour.
2. Perfectionist
People who put out too much all at once tend to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage often arises from perfectionistic tendencies. Self-sabotaging perfectionists really want to do everything perfectly, without any mistakes whatsoever.
Because of this desire, however, they put out more than what’s humanly possible in one fell swoop. (because they believe that this will make them perfect). But then suffer for this output later on when their body needs time to recover and regenerate! Self-sabotage arises here because instead of pacing themselves, they give it all out in one go.
3. Wanting To Become Others
People who want to be liked by everyone tend to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage often stems from a desire that comes from wanting people to like you. Self-sabotaging behaviour is created when the person becomes too focused on trying to make everyone else happy. And as a result, loses sight of their own needs and desires!
4. Fear Of Rejection
People who fear rejection or failure tend to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is often closely linked with low self-esteem and insecurity about not being good enough for others (or oneself). Self-sabotaging behaviours are ones that provide an escape route if things don’t work out at first. They set up obstacles that prevent you from facing the fear of failure. Or rejection in the first place – it’s a backdoor escape route.
Self-sabotage can also be thought of as sabotaging oneself so that “in case” things don’t go on track. There is always a way out (without having to deal with any criticism or discomfort). Self-sabotage might also come from putting your self-worth on the line; self-sabotaging behaviours arise when someone values their own worth based on whether they succeed or fail at something.
5. Fear Of Criticism
People who worry about criticism tend to self-sabotage. Self-sabotaging behaviour and worry about what others will think often arise together; because we want people’s approval we’re afraid that we’ll put ourselves out there and get criticized for it. Self-sabotage might also come from putting your self-worth on the line; self-sabotaging behaviours arise when someone values their own worth based on whether they succeed or fail at something.
Self-sabotaging fears of failure and rejection often stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities; if you lack confidence you’re far more likely to be concerned about what other’s think of you. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours that provide security (in case things don’t work out).
6. Low Self-esteem
People who put themselves down tend to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage often comes from low self-esteem, especially when the person has a habit of putting themselves down. Self-sabotage might also come from putting your self-worth on the line. Its behaviours arise when someone values their own worth based on whether they succeed or fail at something.
Not caring for oneself fears of failure and rejection often stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. If you lack confidence you’re far more likely to be concerned about what other’s think of you. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours that provide security (in case things don’t work out).
7. Self-defeating behaviour
Fears of failure and rejection often stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. If you lack confidence you’re far more likely to be concerned about what other’s think of you. And this can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours that provide security (in case things don’t work out). Self-sabotage might also come from putting your self-worth on the line; self-sabotaging behaviours arise when someone values their own worth based on whether they succeed or fail at something.
Its fears of failure and rejection often stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities; if you lack confidence you’re far more likely to be concerned about what other’s think of you, and this can lead to self-sabotage.
8. Believing that all or nothing is the only way to accomplish a goal.
For example, if my goal is to lose weight I cannot have cake on my birthday because I will go off my diet completely. This attitude keeps people from trying anything they think they might fail at. You won’t know unless you try! You may not want to have cake every time you have a birthday but maybe once in a while wouldn’t hurt. Celebrating with a small amount of cake and making up for it later would be a better way to approach the situation.
9. Not having a plan or no plan at all.
Self-sabotage can happen when someone wants to do something but doesn’t know how to get started. If you write down exactly what you’ll need to do, where you will find the things you need, who may be able to help you accomplish your goal makes it more likely that you will stay on track.
10. Fear-based decisions
These are made in hopes of avoiding pain or punishment. A good example is staying out late because if something bad happens then they won’t have early classes the next day. This decision could affect their entire week with little regard for the larger impact it might have on their education or career.
11. Surrounding With Self Negative Influences
Self-sabotage happens when people surround themselves with negative and unhelpful influences. This is called “bad company corrupts good character.” If you choose to spend time around people who drink, do drugs, lie, cheat and steal, your values may become distorted especially if you are trying to establish yourself as a person of integrity such as in the case of recovering from addictions. Watch this video of Les Brown
12. Thinking About Others
Self-sabotage can happen when someone wants to accomplish something but they think others might be upset because it will reflect badly on them or that others will not approve or take credit for what they did. Self-sabotaging thoughts include: I won’t get a promotion because my boss likes other more than me; there is no way I can get a promotion without my boss knowing about it. Self-sabotaging thoughts include: if I accomplish something, no one will care
13. Making Changes In Life
Self-sabotage happens when someone wants to make changes in their lives. But they don’t want to take responsibility for dealing with negative consequences that might come up as a result of the changes they are making.
They think things like. “If I don’t go to work tonight, I won’t get fired. “Self-sabotaging thoughts include. I take this job, I won’t have time for school; if you get married then your spouse will tell you what to do or not do. Self-sabotaging thoughts include:
If you stay home on Saturday night, everyone will talk about you on Sunday morning. Its thoughts include: if I don’t go into that bar, then nobody will see me with all my friends who are drinking and having fun. Self-sabotaging thoughts include: If I take this promotion, I am afraid people will think I got it because of affirmative action.. Self-sabotaging thoughts include: if I get pregnant right after college, I won’t be able to afford my education.
14. Having A Goal And Ignoring
Self-sabotage can happen when someone has a goal in mind but they put off doing anything about it until they “feel more like it.” They might tell themselves things like “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll start after this weekend.” Self-sabotaging thoughts include: I will lose weight as soon as I feel like it; I will make changes in my life as soon as the second trimester is over (in the case of pregnancy)
15. Losing Focus
Self-sabotage can happen when someone has a goal to accomplish. But they don’t put any energy into working towards that goal. Self-sabotaging thoughts include: what’s the use? Self-sabotaging thoughts include: it won’t work, don’t bother planning. If you live like this, you will end up like them (negative people who chronically complain about their lives).
Self-sabotaging thoughts include: Nothing ever works out for me so why even try Self-sabotaging thoughts include: people who try to accomplish goals are just being stupid Self-sabotaging thoughts include: I don’t have what it takes Self-sabotaging thoughts include: I’ll never get that promotion Self-sabotaging thoughts to include: the harder you work, the more luck is needed Self-sabotaging thoughts include: things will always be this way Self-sabotaging thoughts include: I have a fear of success Self-sabotaging thought includes: why bother going if things won’t change.
Conclusion.
Identify the root cause of self-sabotage. Change your beliefs about yourself. Avoid temptations and distractions. Make a specific plan for success. And set small milestones along the way to help you achieve your goals.
It’s important to have clarity about what needs to be done in order to reach your goal. Self-sabotage is an obstacle that prevents those who try from achieving their potential. This type of behaviour has been well documented in the psychological literature as self-handicapping. It’s often created by limiting beliefs about oneself, which manifests as sabotaging behaviour. Self-sabotage is linked with low self-esteem and insecurity about not being good enough for others (or oneself).
It can also be thought of as sabotaging oneself so that “in case” things don’t go on track. There is always a way out (without having to deal with criticism or discomfort). Fears of failure and rejection often stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. If you lack confidence you’re more likely to be concerned about what others think of you. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours that provide security (in case things don’t work out).